Michael Slaman
John Gordon Slaman
Thank you for coming today to help us celebrate John’;s life and mourn his passing.
I am John’s younger brother Mike, and as such, we spent a lot of time together.
We shared a lot growing up; bedrooms, toys and friends. We even shared bath time together. One time he got out of the tub first and was
drying off. When I got out, there was no dry towel, so I took his. Being the nice guy John was, he just got another towel. Well, where is the fun in that?
So I took his dry towel, a scuffle ensued resulting in John smashing his face off of the tub and breaking his front tooth. I don’t remember him getting mad. I guess he knew being in the middle child, he would get it from both sides and just rolled with it.
Growing up in Burford, there was always chores to do in the greenhouses. Whether it was pulling roots, hoeing weeds or washing pails, he would put his mind to it and get the job done, all the while, encouraging me to do the same. Often, much to dad’s disappointment, he would help me do my section so we could go play. And play we did.
We built forts; with sticks in the forest, with snow in the winter, or peat moss bales in the
Warehouse. When we went to Pake and Beppe farm, in St George, we were in heaven.
They had the biggest hay barn ever! And with our sister, brothers and cousins we built forts, with tunnels, and rooms, and more tunnels, and more rooms, where we would play tag and hide and go seek. Pake and Beppe had 64 grand kids - there was always someone there to play with.
As us kids grew, the Greenhouse business grew too. That meant more roots to pull, more weeds to hoe, and more pails to wash.
It also meant a bigger warehouse to ride our bicycles in. We would peddle to the back of the greenhouse, then as fast as we dared, peddled back into the warehouse and power-slide across the floor with one leg down and our bikes leaned way over.
One time, John missed the turn and ran straight into the truck bay door and bent the forks on his bike. So Dad got the welder out and fixed it. We did not get off that easy the second time. Dad refused to fix it, but that did not stop us from riding it. We spent the next 2 summers practicing our wheelies. High School changed our lives forever.
Girls! John taught me everything I needed to know about girls, at least he thought he did. When he met Liz, he was twit-a-pated, just like Thumper in the movie Bambi. Mom and Dad were worried, so they sent me along to the Wallis house to keep an eye on them. Every one there loved him. Liz’s mom, Esmeralda, loved him; he was tall, handsome and those brown eyes. Nick, her Dad, loved him; he was tall, he knew how to fix stuff, and Nick was no longer the only man in the house. Liz has 5 sisters and no brothers.
If John wasn’t with Liz, he was taking money from his buddies in a Nickel anti poker game. The games were never fair because he was the only one not drinking booze - Ginger ale was his thing. Later, he switched to Pepsi for the caffeine injection and he was hooked. He may have had a Pepsi every day for the rest of his life.
I don’t know who followed who, but John and Liz were inseparable. They went to university of Waterloo together and after Graduating, got married August 10th 1985. John’s honours degree in Math and Computer Science led him to working in Toronto, where they had an apartment.
A few years later, they some kids might be fun. Matthew was born September of 88. Michael John 13 months later, sadly with lung complications, he died the same day. David came along in July of 91. With 2 busy boys the apartment got full fast, so they bought a house in Markham, as close to a park and green space they could find. Janine came along in May of 97. They had a little girl - John and Liz were beaming.
The family was complete. It was a busy time between work and taking the kids to school and sporting activities but he loved coaching all 3 kids.
When the boys moved to rep hockey he became a convener. John worked in IT for several companies. One job was helping the Banking systems transition to electronic transfers between banks. When there was a issue, he would fly to Tennessee or somewhere on the eastern seaboard to solve the problem. He missed being home.
After a few years, he got another job without the travel. His new job was to help the auto sales industry track and sell cars coming off lease. We would tease him that he was a glorified used car sales man.
No matter where he worked, he liked helping others. Our parents took us camping when we were young. He treasured those vacations. With the Wallis family growing, he convinced them to go camping. So with borrowed camping gear they all went to Musselman’s Lake. The kids were hooked and it became an annual event. John asked if my family would like to join them. “Im” came my reply and with our kids in tow joined them on several occasions. But Matthew and David wanted bigger adventures.
John asked how I felt about a canoe trip to the Algonquin Park interior. “I’m in”, came my reply. So the nine of us packed our gear and headed north. A few cuts and scrapes later and, as long as Liz did not find out about those, all was good. By the end of the week we all were tired and dirty with not a square inch of clean cloths between us. That’s when Matt pulls out a 6 pack of brand new white tube socks. He almost did not make it out alive. Several trips later, each one more challenging than the last, John and his kids honed their outdoor adventure skills and we all had a blast.
With his kids off to university and out of the house, John went looking for more canoeing
Buddies. He looked around the office for some fresh meat. He gathered up some city slickers and headed west to canoe the Grand River, and back woods camping.
They ended up in our back yard with trays of biryani, burgers and beers. It became an summer event for about 10 years with new faces and stories each year. The kids traveled the world and, whenever he had the chance, John would catch up with them. Whether in South America, Europe or New Zealand.
He looked forward to and talked fondly about those trips. Covid lock down wasn’t good for John. He gained weight, let his hair grow and lived in this Lulu-lemons. When David and Bethany announced their wedding he realized things had to change. He said, “Mike I gotta lose 40lbs in 40 weeks”,
“I’m” came my reply. We both went on a diet, and started exercising more.I told him to do yoga because he already owned the pants. We arrived in Calgary a week before the wedding.
With more than a pound to lose, he had a plan. Eat salad, drink water and hike a minimum 10km a day. It would have worked except he could not wait to get to Smithers and help the kids with any last minute wedding plans. After helping for a few days, Bethany assured us they were in good shape and we should get the canoe and hit the river. Like all good paddlers, we studied rapids near the takeout, chose the best route through the rapids, and drove to the put in.
After a nice paddle, with great scenery in a river teaming with the last of the salmon run, we came to the rapids, and hit them perfectly without missing a stroke.
A young kayaker came over to talk to John. She was so impressed with our fearless
paddling style. John, with his stomach sucked in, told her, that at our age, we couldn’t waste time scouting it out. In John’s world, the best trip is an uneventful trip. Some people say that’s not exciting! He would say, everything went according to plan and nothing went wrong.
Not everything in life is perfect and John had those times too. When mortgage rates were high, when he was between jobs, when Michael John did not pull through John would remember a little plaque on his wall
Don’t Quit when things go wrong, as they sometimes will, when the road you’re trudging, seems up hill, when funds are low and debts are high and you want to smile, but you have to sigh when care is pressing you down a bit, rest, if you must, but just don’t quit life is queer, with its twists and turns as everyone of us, sometimes learns and many a failure, turns about when he might have won, had he stuck it out don’t give up, though the pace seems slow you may succeed, with another blow success is failure, turned inside out the silver tint, of the clouds of doubt, and you never can tell, how close you are, it may be near, when it seems so far; so stick to the fight, when you are hardest hit it’s when things seem worst, that you must not quit
My brother John was someone you can always look up to.
Play - Walk Like a Man - Bruce Springsteen
Ed Wilson
My name is Ed Wilson. For the last 12 years of my career I was a high school guidance counsellor and I spent a lot of time telling young men that it is ok to cry. Please bear with me if I model that behavior here today.
I have been asked to speak today as a representative of John’s high school friends. But more specifically, a small group of friends that formed in grade 9 around a poker table. That group started in grade 9 (1977) an played its last hand in December 2022. For those of you who are not a good with figures as John was that is 45 years.
We should have played last December but that game has not happened yet and when it does there will be an empty chair. John lived the furthest away but I cannot remember him ever missing a game. Friends were important to John.
Those poker players are here today with the exception of Richard Vollebregt, who is travelling for business. I will not center them out but they are Fred Protopapa, Chris Welsh, Henry Wegiel and myself. I asked each of them to send me their thoughts of John and what I share in an amalgam of those thoughts.
One of the first poker games to be played was a John’s parent’s house in Burford. The Eagles had recently released the album Hotel California and we played it over and over. For those who know the album one of the songs was LIFE IN THE FAST LANE. John would never be described as LIFE IN THE FAST LANE but he will definitely be remembered as LIFE IN THE RIGHT LANE.
Poker games have long been whole nigh affairs. The boys show up at 8. Share stories and catch up for hours and it is often after midnight before the first hand is dealt. A typical nighT wraps up around 4 am and we all sleep over and have breakfast in the morning. In the early years there was lots of beer, not grade 9 of course. Later than that. We drank beer, John drank Pepsi, and as time wore on John became a better and better player often ending the night with a tidy windfall. In the later years there was still beer, just not as much and John did not win as often.
Poker was always dealer’s choice. One of the boys wrote the John liked his poker the way he played his life, straight up and simple. I think he liked straight poker because he was always calculating the odds. John loved a puzzle. Anytime there was a puzzle on facebook John would chime in with his solution.
These next words were taken directly from what was sent to me from one of the players. I will not attach names to these comments because I don’t want to center anyone out but also because the comments were essentially all the same. This passage summed it up perfectly:
John was a straight up guy. A matter of fact man that cut to the chase. I remember him always willing to help and give advice on any matter without judgement. A no nonsense kind of man yet very warm and gentle. He always made you feel that what you had to say was important and so you had his full and complete attention. He was a genuine non pretentious man. No filler. Just substance.
The John that I knew in early high school was not a great listener or conversationalist. At the end of university John did the Dale Carnegie course “How To Win Friends and Influence People.” I remember him telling me about it and I felt that the change in his skills was dramatic. He really perfected becoming an active listener and a great person to talk to. Last week my wife Shelagh and I rented a small cabin up north for two days. There was a dozen or so books on the shelf. In looking at them my wife pulled one down and said “John is here.” It was the book how to win friends and influence people.
Family was very important to John and he shared it with us every chance he got. Whether it was the family globetrotting or Matt’s pirate adventures, David’s world exploration or Jeneen’s accomplishments at school there was always lots to share and he was always the proud dad.
As I have said already friends were very important to John and anyone who could count John Slaman as one of their friends was a lucky person. I remember when my mother died in 2019 I looked up during the visitation at the funeral home and there was John standing at the back of the room. He drove a total of 3 hours to make an appearance because that was the right thing to do. That is what you do for your friends. That meant a great deal to me and I will never forget it.
We will miss our friend, who one of the boys described as,
A MAN OF FEW WORDS BUT WITH A HUGE HEART AND A WARM SMILE.
Thank you John for sharing your life with us.
Matt Slaman, David Slaman, Janine Slaman
My name is Matt Slaman, and John Slaman is my dad, or as I often called him - daddy-o, papa John. Johnny boy, or my old man. He didn’t like that last one.
This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done - trying to sum up all that my father is and was to all of us into words that will do him justice.
We’ve received an outpouring of support and messages from family, friends & colleagues - in each of them similar values & characteristics of dad come up -
Dad was patient, thoughtful, caring, positive, enthusiastic, and supportive… He was also a problem-solver, a coach, and a mentor. He always had good advice to offer, even if it was a little long-winded…
For my siblings and I, he was our biggest fan and our greatest champion. He was a proud father - and it showed through all the ways he supported us over the years.
In our youth it was the 6am hockey practices, soccer in the evening 7 days a week, tournaments out of town on weekends, and the countless hours volunteered as a coach or league commissioner year after year. He built us skate ramps and backyard hockey rinks. He tied shoes, skates, and cleats - one lace at a time, day after day.
As we got older he had life advice for us, about our universities, career choices, business advice…
Sometimes we would just shoot the shit - talking shop or politics, making assumptions about the world.
No matter what it was, or when we called - Dad was always there for us
Dad bailed us out a lot over the years, usually figuratively but sometimes literally - good thing mom never found out.
Dad gave selflessly, endlessly, unconditionally.
Over the years Dad shared with us stories of his youth.
There were the classics about how he would walk to school both ways uphill, or the time he accidentally used salt instead of sugar on his butter toast. Grandma wouldn't let him leave the table until he finished it. Luckily Grandpa was feeling sympathetic and offered to help Dad finish his food. After taking a bite, grandpa realized what happened and let dad go free.
The story that most encapsulates dad and one that he was most proud of, was the time Grandpa had a visit from a neighbour.
"Your son John beat up my boy,” the neighbor said.
Grandpa responded,“oh no, you must be mistaken, you must mean my son Brian.”
“No, no, it was John,” the neighbour insisted.
Grandpa thought about it for a minute and proclaimed "Well, if it was John, then your son must have deserved it!"
Dad was honest, just, thoughtful & intelligent. He would do anything for you. He always tried to do what was right, giving every situation due thought and consideration before taking action.
I imagine that for many people in this room, Dad probably went out of his way to help you, coach you, mentor you, listen to you, give you advice;
He made sure you were okay. I know he did it for me.
Dad inspired in us a sense of adventure - he took us canoeing & camping, he taught us how to ride bikes and later how to drive.
Years on, it was our turn to take him on adventures - canoeing and kayaking all over Ontario and British Columbia, cycling 250km in 4 days across Portugal, and hiking & camping all over New Zealand..
In the last few years, Dad embarked on solo white water kayaking courses where he excelled and even his instructors commented on how great of a guy he was.
He was the best guy.
Today and in the days, months and years that come, when you think of my dad, my siblings, my family, I hope you’ll share with us some stories to make us smile - to smile as big as Dad’s.
I remember my great-grandmothers funeral; someone presented a eulogy that asked those present
“Why do we wait to say all these beautiful things when it’s too late?”
I invite you today, to say those beautiful things out loud to the people in your life, while you still can.
Tell them what they mean to you, why they are amazing, that you love them.
And in typical John Slaman fashion, take the opportunity to greet everyone you meet with an enthusiastic “How are you doing this beautiful day?!”
